Life of a Intern

4:00- Humiliated by my class project that was ripped to shreds by a gaggle of retarded primates, AKA, my classmates. You know something is of piss poor quality when worthless FAU students have something to say about it. Actually I take that back. The one thing they do well is complain and nitpick other people's work.

5:45- Get a call from my boss asking where I am. See, I’ve been stuck in traffic for the past hour in what I can only assume is a rain cloud that is following me around today. I believe this because everyone I’ve talked to in South Florida is dry as Dennis Miller. Anyways, my boss then has to wait for me, so I can pick up my press pass for another exciting Panthers game.

7:17- Freezing my ass off, and wondering if the Panthers organization is trying to kill off all the media by only feeding them popcorn and bad coffee. Nevertheless I’m eating and drinking it. I’m going to miserable later. Nothing my stomach loves more than caffeine, sugar, milk and salt.

7:33- Informed by the giant floating T.V. that Chris Gratton has played in 1,000 as of tonight, the interesting part was the highlight film was only that of him fighting. Does he do anything else or is that his job? I’m now confused. Isn’t this something that should be done after the game? Nothing gets hockey players pumped up like a awkward exchange of gifts between coach and players. Chris got a watch and a hockey stick for Jacque Martin.

7:40- 1st I’m reminded of my hatred of the PA guy, all he does is scream into a microphone and get paid, and he couldn’t look any more ridiculous, wearing a hockey jersey and 2 earrings that does nothing for his image. Secondly, why do I have to hear the national anthem for Canada? I understand that Ottawa is a town, but really, I don’t want to stand for 20 minutes while we go through National Anthems for every country. The only people who cared on the Ottawa team were Canadians. If were going to sing for them, why not every country in the NHL? Why even play the games? Lets just sing!

7:43- That was quick, after almost giving up a goal in the first 10 seconds of the game, Eddy Belfour allowed a shot by Patrick Eaves slip by giving the Senators a 1-0 lead. That goals marks the 11th that Ottawa has scored against the Panthers in the past 3 games, and this one’s still going. If your keeping score at home the Panthers have 0 goals in past 3 games, Senators 11. LETS GO CATS!

7:55 Greatest Day ever, I remembered that Steve informed me that I can watch NCAA tournament action on my computer, so now I get to watch a sport I truly love…College Basketball. Although I’ve found myself watching the Panthers on T.V. Which is depressing because I don’t have time in my life for another sport.

8:03 “Just got the bump to bang you, keep you erect,” are the exact words of Billy Packer. It' strange hearing those while your watching something else. Tonight we are going to find out if my theory that the closer you are to home the more likely you are to win. I’ve picked my entire NCAA tournament on this theory, though Wisconsin decided to just not give the ball to Alando Tucker and lose their game in Chi-town.

8:12-I was just informed that Acie Law goes both ways, oh and by the way the first period is over with and the Cats are trailing 1-0. Now I have to watch an idiot in a panther costume ride around on a 4-wheeler on the ice. God I hate PR, he is now sliding across the ice with the song “rollin” by Limp Bizkit playing. Somebody please shoot him in the face.

8:37- So bored, dear God can someone score a goal, or can this god awful internet halftime show end. I have no idea who any of these people are, I think the host is in one of my classes. Goal by…the Senators its now 2-0 this game and 12-0 over the past 3.

8:42-Make that 3-0 and 13-0 after a goal by Deny Heatley of Ottawa. Is it me or is Eddy Belfour a little too old to be playing in like. …wait hold on a old school NHL Hockey for Sega, fight just broke out, I mean they tossed their sticks helmets and gloves just like the game and went at it. So funny when that happens because it's so sterile the refs cleared out of the way to let them fight. Until someone really lands a good punch, then they get involved. FYI: Steve Montador of the Panthers was the one who got tossed to the ice.

9:00-After the Panthers allow another quick goal by Dean McAmmond, I make friends with the German reporter next to me. A truly interesting guy who informed me about how much better Europe is than America. That was not his intention, it just became obvious. Oh and the Panthers scored 2 worthless goals while we were talking, one by Jozef Stumpel and the other by Oli Jolkinen. So the updated score is Senators 4 Panthers 2 with 6 min left.

9:47- Apparently Memphis coach John Calipari paid off the refs, because I don’t know how the hell that 1 second ran off the clock on the inbounds pass but that’s the NCAA tournament.


10:00- Off to the locker room for another round of riveting interviews with the Panthers. It’s not they are bad quotes, but after you lose a game, how excited are you? And there locker room smells so bad my eyes water the whole time in there, so it looks like I’m upset the Cats lost.

10:20- Finally going home, I’ve got to cut sound, walk Flash, and get to play a little 2k7, that’s the life of a intern/student. Exciting eh?