The Most Diabolical Outfield of All-Time

Quick thanks to the new readers, I have noticed your comments and first thanks for the Pro Player correction, as for the question on St.Lucie, that would be my bad eyes, when you look at a list of 40 players the lines blend together he has not signed the player was Matthew W. Mallory. The Florida Marlins have a huge hole in center field and they are looking for players to fill it. Two names stand out Brady Clark and Elijah Dukes...here's why I want Dukes.



The Tampa Bay Devil Rays may be dumping Elijah Dukes, a.k.a. “Pac Man of baseball,” and much to my delight the Florida Marlins are one of the teams interested. My delight is for personal reasons; I would love to see the train wreck that would occur if the Marlins bring this crazy man into their clubhouse. The Marlins are one of the youngest teams in baseball, average age 27 and adding a player like Dukes has the possibility of being a calamity of hilarious proportions. But why stop there I’ve compiled a list of other outfielders that the Fish can add to create….

The Most Diabolical Outfield of All-Time

Left Field- Milton Bradley, the volatile outfielder was recently sent to the minors by the Oakland Athletics for "playing time issues.” Bradley career numbers .270, 70 HR, 292 RBI are decent for a man who can’t stay on a team for three consecutive seasons. Bradley also has a solid “diabolical” resume:
--- Traded from Indians to Dodgers after fighting with manager Eric Wedge. A
--- After a disagreeing over balls and strikes in 2004 Bradley left his batting helmet, gloves and bat in batters box, then threw a bag of balls on the field.
--- Suspended five games for firing a plastic beer bottle into the stands at Coors
--- Called an African American reporter an “uncle tom” and a “sellout” after being asked a question he didn’t like.
---The list continues but those were the highlights.

Center Field- Elijah Dukes, his career numbers aren’t great .190, 10 HR and 21 RBI’s. Although he is a young player, 22, Dukes does have an impressive “diabolical” resume:
---Has been arrested 6 times since 1998 a plethora of arrest ranging from pot possession to battery.
---May, 2007, reportedly threatened to kill his wife
---17 year old foster child in Dukes extended family accuses him of impregnating her; police say sex tape proves consensual sex.
---Has five children by four different women.

Right Field- Carl Everett is probably the best player on this list and for some strange reason in sans team this season. Everett is a former All-Star with a career batting average of .271, 202 HR and 792 RBI’s. Everett has an equally impressive “diabolical” resume:
---Alias include “Jurassic Carl” and C-Rex after his comments refuting the existence of dinosaurs. “I don’t know anyone that ever said, I saw a dinosaur”, very true Carl, but you believe in God yet I don’t know anyone who says I’ve seen God.
---After hitting a home run off of Jamie Moyer, C-Rex grabbed his crotch and spit at Moyer.
--- C-Rex is the model of humanity and understanding, stating that if he had a gay teammate he would retire or “set him straight”, nice Carl real nice.