Tim Tebow Facts

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Here are some of my favorites.


Tim Tebow Facts

Tim Tebow can divide by zero

When you open a can of whoop-ass, Tim Tebow jumps out.

Tim Tebow doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.

Tim Tebow sweats Gatorade

Tim Tebow doesn't throw up if he drinks too much. Tim Tebow throws down!
What color is Tim Tebow's blood? Trick question. Tim Tebow does not bleed.

It takes Tim Tebow 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Superman wears Tim Tebow pajamas

Life doesn't give Tim Tebow lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants

Tim Tebow always knows the EXACT location of Carmen SanDiego

Tim Tebow has never lost or tied in a game of Tic Tac Toe.

Nobody does it like Sara Lee. Except Tim Tebow.

Losers Lament

Not that I want anyone to feel sorry for me but let's take a look at the teams I cover on a daily basis.

The Miami Heat haven't won a home game since April 13th and after Wednesdays collapse against the Hawks I don't know if it will ever happen. There is no question that, at the very least, Dwayne Wade is rusty how else can you explain Josh Smith blocking Wade's game winning attempt.

Shaq is old and at least once a night I will see a play that makes his age painstakingly obvious. Against the Hawks the Heat tried to feed Shaq the ball on an alley-oop pass and both times Shaq had to catch, regroup and then take his shot. The result of those passes would have been four dynamic points...this year two shaky free-throws.

The Hurricanes are actually just sad, how else can you explain (-2) yards rushing against Virgina Tech. There is virtually no chance that this team goes to a bowl, but if they do every 'Cane fan should be grateful. 'Canes fans need to wake up and understand for the time being, National Championships, ACC Championships or anything beyond the MPC Computers Bowl is not a realistic goal. I don't see how those expectations will improve dramatically next year. Teams with red shirt Freshman don't win championships, so 'Canes fans you are going to have to wait another year 'till your relevant.

The Florida Panthers do win some games, or at least enough to keep .500 in site and to tease their loyal fan base. I'm at their game right now and Stephen Weiss just put the 'Cats up by one at the start of the third period. This team actually has a present and a future, they have talent to win now and youth to win for a long time. One of my favorite Panthers is David Booth, he has 6 goals and is instant energy off the bench.

As for the Dolphins, insert lame losing joke here, they did get Ricky Williams back on Monday, insert lame pot smoking reference here.

Ricky is a not just a star, he's a Super Nova, if you question my assessment head down to Davie one day and see how many T.V. trucks are there. 0-10 teams don't normally deserve and definitely don't garner this much attention, but Ricky makes the 'Phins exciting...at least for a while.

Cam Cameron is following the cliched mantra of "one day at a time" with Ricky. Cameron sticks to this lame theory despite the fact that Jesse Chatman can barely walk and everyone at camp marvels at how great Ricky looks. If Cam goes into Pittsburgh with Patrick Cobbs, Lorenzo Booker and Samkon Gado as his running backs he should be fired.

My theory for Ricky, he is named starter for the Monday night game against Pittsburgh. The 'Phins will make room for Ricky by placing Zach Thomas on the IR.

Losing my way

It has been a little while since my last blog so I want to catch up on a few things from the past week.

--Friday I was at the Phoenix Suns at the Miami Heat game and I was thrilled when they decided to reenact the 1997 All-Star Game. This was obviously done by Pat Riley in an effort to give fans a chance that to see “Penny” Hardaway, Grant Hill, Alonzo Mourning and “Shaq” O’Neil all playing at the same time. You may not remember that the fans in Cleveland were robbed of this chance in 1997 because O’Neil and Mourning were selected but did not play in the game. Thanks Pat for letting us see what we were robbed of in 1997. FYI, if the Heat would have re-signed Gary Payton and Eddie Jones the Heaters could have fielded an entire ’97 All-Star team themselves. Don’t worry Heat fans there is still hope…Chris Webber is a free agent.

--Saturday’s closing of the Orange Bowl was a complete debacle and the worst part was it really wasn’t surprising that this ‘Canes team came out flat. Before the game I mentioned to a few reporters that “I hope this isn’t a blow out” and they all looked at me like I was taking crazy pills. My thought process was if the ‘Canes get down early their done because I’m sad to say this team lacks the effort required for a comeback.

Another problem for the ‘Canes was the fact the players seemed to ignore the game plan from the outset, they seemed certain that it was their right to win this game and played without any direction.

I feel bad for Kyle Wright because he’s gotten too much of the blame at Miami. Saturday’s loss wasn’t his best game and his career has fallen well short of what everyone had hoped, but take a look at what he’s worked with. Wright has had three offensive coordinators and two head coaches and a stock-pile of questionable receivers. I have a feeling next year some ‘Cane fans will wish they had Wright behind center and he can sit back and smile while he looks around an NFL locker room.

I am starting a petition to remove the “U” nickname from The University of Miami. If your team doesn’t even qualify for a bowl game then you should not have any nickname beside your team name, so until further notice they're the Hurricanes.

--The Miami Dolphins are losers; I don’t mean that they are hanging out with the Harry Potter crowd. They are losers in the truest sense of the word, they can’t win, they don’t know how to win and I don’t think they are going to win. Cam Cameron wasn’t a winner as a college coach (18-37 at Indiana) in fact he couldn’t even beat former ‘Phins coach Nick Saban when Saban was at Michigan State. Cameron lost both games against Saban, but at least they failed forward.

--The ‘Phins took the wrong Ohio State player; they should have waited until this years draft and taken Brian Robiskie. He has 48 catches for 864 yards and 10 touchdowns and is on pace to top all of Ginn’s numbers from last year. Robiskie is the son of ‘Phins receivers coach Terry Robiskie, Ginn played receiver for only one and half seasons at The Ohio State University.

--The Panthers have the hardest working promotions staff in South Florida. Every game they are giving away tons of prizes and tickets for future games. I don’t know anywhere else where you can get free parking and see local mascots

----Now you are caught up with my feeling about the devastation that is the South Florida sports landscape.

Hodgepodge

I’ve been all over South Florida again this week and I’ve decided to make a hodgepodge of my thoughts, enjoy.

What happened to the South Florida Bulls I thought they were the next big thing in the state. I thought they were going to challenge Miami and Florida State for the rights to be the third best team in the state. You know what happened to them….reality that’s what happened. The Bulls aren’t that good in fact they are the third best team in the Big East and if Louisville had any thing that resembled a defense the Cardinals would be ahead of the Bulls too. After the Bulls lose to Cincinnati today and later in the season to the previously mentioned Cardinals the Bulls may have a worse win/ loss record than Florida Atlantic University, the team that everyone loves to ignore.

Shaq is who I thought he was an overweight and unmotivated former superstar who doesn’t realize that if he wants to remain great in the latter stages of his career he needs to put in the effort. I agree with G-Stein (host of the Saturday Sports Page) that Shaq needs to stop complaining about not getting the ball enough and start working on finding ways to put the ball in the hole. When Dwayne Wade returns to the Heat, Shaq will become the third option behind Wade and Ricky Davis.

I’ve come to the conclusion that the Miami Hurricanes are an average and that they are ridiculously boring to watch. In the first half of this weekends game with the N.C. State Wolf Pack, Kirby Freeman was 1 of 6 for 84 yards with one touchdown and one interception.

What happened to all the whining and crying over the Orange Bowl closing? I was at today’s game and the crowd is pathetic, per the usual this year. Does everyone know that ‘Canes now only have one more game left at the Orange Bowl? On a similar note, former ‘Canes, and current FAU Head Coach Howard Schnellenberger will coach the second to last game ever at the Orange Bowl.

Finally if the Dolphins don’t start John Beck, Cam Cameron needs to be fired. There is no reason why Cleo Lemon needs to play another down for this team. The only reason why Cameron would play Lemon is to win at least one game this year and that would criminally short sighted by Cameron.